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[eggcel]

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[akron]

well, there was that one time I asked if you could watch Di for a bit, hoping you would so I could go rub one out in the toilets, but you had other plans

no, I'm kidding

1/2

[eggcel]

you what

[eggcel]

fucking hell roxy who gave you the right to send me texts like that??

[akron]

oh, I didn't realise I needed permission

[eggcel]

[ oh no, now he's turned on by her masturbating and asking for his permission.

oh please eggsy can I talk about running my fingers over my wet--

stop it, imagination! ]

you HAD to text me while I'm in the park with JB

[ getting a boner in public was not on his list of things to do today??? ]

[akron]

[ well, that's entirely his own fault and not at all what she intended

really ]

oops

[eggcel]

[ liar liar pants on fire! ]

if you had an erection in a park

where would you hide until it goes away

[ a moment later: ]

this is a made up scenario that isn't at all happening to me right this second

[akron]

that's not a scenario I ever had to consider before, seeing how I'm rather unlikely to ever get an erection

behind a tree, perhaps

[ of course it's purely hypothetical ]

[eggcel]

[ he finds a tree...

and quietly debates jacking off behind it while JB runs around. ]

name something not sexy

I'm asking for a friend

[ he really needs to be turned off right now ]

[akron]

chester king, the late arthur

[ YOU ASKED MATE ]

[eggcel]

[ wow

his boner couldn't be more gone right now. ]

cheers

[akron]

did that help?
your friend, I mean

[eggcel]

oh yeah that helped a lot

I think he'll be okay now

[akron]

well, I live to serve