eggcel | IC inbox for eudio

IC inbox for eudio

[ text | audio | video ]

when have I ever let you down before?

well, there was that one time I asked if you could watch Di for a bit, hoping you would so I could go rub one out in the toilets, but you had other plans

no, I'm kidding

you what

fucking hell roxy who gave you the right to send me texts like that??

oh, I didn't realise I needed permission

[ oh no, now he's turned on by her masturbating and asking for his permission.

oh please eggsy can I talk about running my fingers over my wet--

stop it, imagination! ]

you HAD to text me while I'm in the park with JB

[ getting a boner in public was not on his list of things to do today??? ]

[ well, that's entirely his own fault and not at all what she intended

really ]

oops

[ liar liar pants on fire! ]

if you had an erection in a park

where would you hide until it goes away

[ a moment later: ]

this is a made up scenario that isn't at all happening to me right this second

that's not a scenario I ever had to consider before, seeing how I'm rather unlikely to ever get an erection

behind a tree, perhaps

[ of course it's purely hypothetical ]

[ he finds a tree...

and quietly debates jacking off behind it while JB runs around. ]

name something not sexy

I'm asking for a friend

[ he really needs to be turned off right now ]