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[eggcel]

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[eggcel]

I'm probably more rough and ready

posh girls love it

[stickseller]

It suits youth better, I'm sure.

text;

[hairballs]

[ hello. you might know hank as charles' new roomate who has made sure the house is clean, replaces the milk the same day it runs out, got them cable, and stocks an entire cabinet with twinkies ]

May I borrow your dog for a bit?

[akron]

want to get drunk tonight?

text;

[eggcel]

[ oh, hey bruv. so you're the one responsible for a clean, well-stocked apartment. thanks for that, seeing as eggsy does absolutely nothing to contribute to living with charles. except not blow up apartment.

eggsy totally thinks you're charles' son by the way. you know, because he's so old. even though charles has repeatedly said he's not. ]

depends

what you want him for?

if you want him to get attention from girls and/or guys, I'm gonna have to charge you by the hour

text;

[hairballs]

[ and hank thinks eggsy ... really needs to not blurt out personal information on the network. yes. ]

An experiment. Nothing harmful or for attention. I simply want to see how a canine reacts to another animal.

text;

[eggcel]

[ probably shouldn't have used the word "experiment", hank. it makes eggsy instantly want to say fuck no.

...but, if charles trusts him, so does eggsy. still, he's gonna need more information than what hank has given him. he's probably going to need to be present for this "experiment" as well. he's very protective of JB and animals in general. ]

what animal?

text;

[hairballs]

[ oh great. how does he explain this without actually giving eggsy specific details? uhhhhhhh- ]

An ape.

text;

[eggcel]

you've got an ape?

where the fuck did you get an ape from?

I ain't putting JB in front of an ape

haven't you seen that movie where they go batshit crazy

text;

[hairballs]

It's more of a chimera, actually. With ape-like qualities. It's not really important.

I'm not familiar with the movie but it's completely docile, I can assure you.

text;

[eggcel]

I wanna see whatever the fuck you're talking about first

[ sorry but he can't take your word for it, hank. he loves JB too much. ]

text;

[hairballs]

Completely reasonable to require that.
I'm not entirely sure how you would react, however. I was hoping to keep it to JB.

Have you met anyone particularly alien in appearance here yet?

[eggcel]

always

have I told you how fucking great it is that you're here?

[akron]

not in so many words, you haven't

[ it's sort of been implied though, hasn't it? ]

so, pub or my place? or first one then the other

[eggcel]

I say pub then back to whoever's place is closest?

pretty sure you can't outdrink me though

[akron]

sounds great
you'll just have to try and keep up with me

text;

[eggcel]

JB and I don't keep secrets from each other

haven't met an alien but someone told me how they have a hot alien friend they invite to sleepovers and make out with

[ he made that last part up. ]

[eggcel]

yeah right

bet you're a right lightweight

one glass of wine and you'll be on the floor

don't worry though, I'll look after you

text;

[hairballs]

[ what. maybe this was a bad idea ]

That's very nice for them. But not going to be helpful in this case.

[akron]

oh, we'll see about that won't we
i'd say that's sweet, except its completely unnecessary

so what time are we meeting, and where?

[eggcel]

I'll be the perfect gentleman

[ well, until he gets her back to charles' apartment. then he'll be doing very ungentlemanly things to her. ]

let's not meet at that place I got sexually harassed the other day

[akron]

I'll believe that when I see it

[ she may or may not have just snorted at her phone, entirely unladylike. ]

Yeah, fair enough. 's got to be a place that allows dogs, though.

[eggcel]

anywhere that doesn't allow dogs doesn't deserve our custom

[akron]

You know more places round here. Pick one for us?

[eggcel]

thought of one, sending you the address

you're gonna have the time of your life