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[eggcel]

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[akron]

want to get drunk tonight?

[eggcel]

always

have I told you how fucking great it is that you're here?

[akron]

not in so many words, you haven't

[ it's sort of been implied though, hasn't it? ]

so, pub or my place? or first one then the other

[eggcel]

I say pub then back to whoever's place is closest?

pretty sure you can't outdrink me though

[akron]

sounds great
you'll just have to try and keep up with me

[eggcel]

yeah right

bet you're a right lightweight

one glass of wine and you'll be on the floor

don't worry though, I'll look after you

[akron]

oh, we'll see about that won't we
i'd say that's sweet, except its completely unnecessary

so what time are we meeting, and where?

[eggcel]

I'll be the perfect gentleman

[ well, until he gets her back to charles' apartment. then he'll be doing very ungentlemanly things to her. ]

let's not meet at that place I got sexually harassed the other day

[akron]

I'll believe that when I see it

[ she may or may not have just snorted at her phone, entirely unladylike. ]

Yeah, fair enough. 's got to be a place that allows dogs, though.

[eggcel]

anywhere that doesn't allow dogs doesn't deserve our custom

[akron]

You know more places round here. Pick one for us?

[eggcel]

thought of one, sending you the address

you're gonna have the time of your life

[akron]

That better be a promise you can keep

[eggcel]

when have I ever let you down before?

[akron]

well, there was that one time I asked if you could watch Di for a bit, hoping you would so I could go rub one out in the toilets, but you had other plans

no, I'm kidding

1/2

[eggcel]

you what

[eggcel]

fucking hell roxy who gave you the right to send me texts like that??

[akron]

oh, I didn't realise I needed permission

[eggcel]

[ oh no, now he's turned on by her masturbating and asking for his permission.

oh please eggsy can I talk about running my fingers over my wet--

stop it, imagination! ]

you HAD to text me while I'm in the park with JB

[ getting a boner in public was not on his list of things to do today??? ]

[akron]

[ well, that's entirely his own fault and not at all what she intended

really ]

oops

[eggcel]

[ liar liar pants on fire! ]

if you had an erection in a park

where would you hide until it goes away

[ a moment later: ]

this is a made up scenario that isn't at all happening to me right this second

[akron]

that's not a scenario I ever had to consider before, seeing how I'm rather unlikely to ever get an erection

behind a tree, perhaps

[ of course it's purely hypothetical ]

[eggcel]

[ he finds a tree...

and quietly debates jacking off behind it while JB runs around. ]

name something not sexy

I'm asking for a friend

[ he really needs to be turned off right now ]

[akron]

chester king, the late arthur

[ YOU ASKED MATE ]

[eggcel]

[ wow

his boner couldn't be more gone right now. ]

cheers